Difficult conversations- Thoughts and musings 1

I am taking some time, while I am building my practice and have it, to write down some ideas.  I thought I would give them a run here.

Part 1

Why is this so hard to sit down with someone and tell him or her something that they potentially do not want to hear?  Have you ever sat in your office or home or even on the bus ride into work just dreading some of the conversations that you are going to have to have today?  You feel a knot in your stomach your chest feels heavy, maybe your mind is racing with all these scenarios of how the people you need to talk to could potentially react.  Maybe you have convinced yourself on your commute in or during your prep time that the conversation that you need to have is so terrible that there is going to be yelling in response, or tears, or someone is going to be so angry with you personally that they will never speak to you again.  Do you ever have the thought of “why do I always have to be the bad guy?”  Doesn’t it just suck knowing that day after day you are faced with these conversations?  Let’s spend a few minutes looking at why these conversations bring up these kinds of feelings.  Why are they so hard?

First off, these conversations are difficult because the stakes are high.  We might be talking about subjects that affect an individual’s health and well-being.  We are likely talking about things that elicit an emotional response.  Maybe we are talking to a mother about how sick her child really is and what the treatment options are, or aren’t.  Maybe were talking to a provider about the lack of funding on the state level that is going to result in them closing down group homes which not only affects their business bottom line but it displaces employees and most importantly the individuals that they support and help to have held the happy, more independent lives.  

Sometimes we are talking to that individual who keeps making bad choices.  The person that continues to use drugs or places themselves in dangerous situations out on the streets, or has such significant hygiene issues that they are continuously getting sick and although it is absolutely their right to live in whatever manner they would like you’re still responsible for the health and safety of that individual and so you need to discuss with them the importance of taking care of themselves and draw the proverbial ‘line in the sand’ of when you actually have to intervene and make sure that they are maintaining a standard of health. Maybe you are talking to your teenager about his or her sex life or counseling someone through gender identity issues, or maybe you’re talking to your coworker about how stressed out they appear and how that is affecting the other people around in the clients that their supporting.

No matter the reason or your audience these conversations are all difficult. They are all putting you in a situation of needing to tell someone something that they may or may not want to hear.  All of these things can be highly personal because ultimately were talking about health and safety and whether someone lives, or is sick, or even dies and although money is a very important thing in our world, the well-being of other humans is still so much more important and thus makes these conversations so much harder.

Stay tuned for more...